


A little help from my...?

by jessamoo



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 20:59:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13279776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessamoo/pseuds/jessamoo
Summary: Jac is finding life as a recovering patient hard, so fletch decides to step in





	1. Chapter 1

"You are a daft sod, do you know that Naylor?"

A disgruntled moan of annoyance was emitted from the floor.

Fletch raised his eyebrows, smirking down at where Jac Naylor slumped down on the kitchen tiles. The Jac Naylor, the one even bullets couldn't fell. Well, maybe they could just a tiny bit, it seemed. 

"You can go away if all you're going to do is gloat, Fletcher. Smugness doesn't suit you."

Jac had been doing fine. Just fine, as an out patient. In fact, she was sure she was going to be back in work by, say, the end of the week. There was a small setback however, which was that she couldn't even drag herself back into the stupid wheelchair if, for example, she fell out of it trying to reach the toaster. She was sort of considering living the rest of her life from the kitchen floor, conducting operations over skype, when her front door had opened and an out of breath Fletch had rushed in, his eyes wide and frantic. She'd even felt a momentry stab of - something - sharp in her chest, at seeing his obvious worry over her. It turned out Emma, after Jonny had explained that he was in fact in Scotland, and so could not in fact rescue mummy (the way they both suspected Emma still wanted him too.), had called Fletch upon her fathers instruction. Despite her humiliation, Jac couldn't help the rush of love for her daughter in that moment.

This was before Fletch had become a stand up comedian at her expense, of course.

"I think the response your looking for is, thank you Fletch, for rushing so bravely to my aid, making sure I don't stay stuck like an upended turtle all day. Come on."

He helped her up into her wheelchair with the ease of someone who had been helping patients the same way for years. Something that she could barely manage on her own had taken no time at all with him here.

Jac batted his hand away as they stayed on her waist.

"Yeah, alright, keep your hair on. I'm checking you haven't torn your stitches."

So she let him stay leaning closer to her. Her heartbeat betrayed her, thumping rapidly at the closeness. Then Emma hopped into the kitchen grinning, all cheeky smiles now her mum was apparently okay again.

"Come here baby." Jac put her arms out, scooping Emma onto her lap and hugging her tightly. Fletch smiled warmly at them.

"Listen, Jac-"

"Thank you." She cut him off, looking up at him softly as Emma clung to her.

"Of course." He nodded. "You can call me whenever. It's just..." He shrugged.

Jac raised her eyebrows in a challenge. He sighed loudly, knowing what would follow his next statement. "Do you think maybe you need some extra help? Just while you're getting better."

Jac let Emma go as she rolled her eyes. Fletch was happy to see her back to her usual awful self, whilst also being annoyed by her reluctance to admit any weakness.

"No way Fletch. I am not having some busy body nurse in my house, where my daughter lives, inserting herself in my business, using my cups-"

Ignoring the cups comment, Fletch put his hands up. "Listen, hear me out alright. How am I meant to walk out of here thinking something else might happen to you?" He sighed and moved to crouch in front of her so their eyes were level. She saw the sincerity in them. She didn't know if she wanted to shrink away from it or fall into it, let him catch her.

"If Emma hadn't of got ahold of me, who knows what would have happened. You've got an amazing kid Jac, but she doesn't need this. And neither do you. Not when there's people who - Who care about you. Who want to help you." He leant to catch her eye when she looked away from him, shame flooding her cheeks since she knew he was right. "I've sort of had an idea. You don't want some stranger in your house, right? And to be quite honest with you, after Raf...I've been feeling a little...useless. Helpless, whatever you want to call it. I couldn't save him. I couldn't even get into the bloody lift..."

Jac's eyes stung as she looked down at him. She put a hesitant hand onto his shoulder, to which he gave a small smile. "All I'm saying is...what if you weren't in your house? My house is big enough for both of you, even with my lot. It'll be good for Emma, to have the kids near her. Good for them as well, distract them from missing their Uncle Raf too much. And, well, I can make sure you're ok."

"Keep an eye on me you mean."

"That's exactly what I mean yeah." He let out a shakey laugh, trying to read her reaction. He had been surprised that this was something he was learning to do quite easily. He got the impression most people didn't bother trying to see below the surface. He could see her considering it.

Jac nodded breathlessly, before she could talk herself out of it. "If it'll make Emma feel better."

Fletch grinned, letting her have the small lie. "I'm gonna get up now, this is really hurting my knees."

"You sound like an old woman."

"Well, you should invest in comfier floors. 'Specially if you're gonna be lolling around on 'em."

She let out a sigh as he began wheeling her out, wondering what she had let herself in for.


	2. Chapter 2

Jac slammed the door loudly behind her, pressing her hand to her mouth, trying not to cry.

She thinks of Emma, tucked up in bed at Jonny's house, glad she isn't here to see this. She could have gotten away with it, when Emma had been a baby. But now she couldn't bear seeing those big eyes looking up at her in disappointment. She knew if she turned around now, she'd see the Fletcher kids looking at her the same way. She didn't think she could bear that either, now.

She heard the door opening, knew instantly that Fletch was coming after her.

"Jac, come on. You don't have to go! It was just a stupid mistake." 

Jac stopped in her tracks, letting go of her suitcase. She didn't turn, but let him catch up with her.

Fletch pulled her round, his hands resting on her arms. It was gentle, even now. She didn't know how he managed that.

"He didn't mean it alright, you know what kids are like. They'll have forgotten about it in the morning."

But Jac knew it wasn't as simple as that. She had inserted herself into the middle of this family, not thinking about the consequences. She'd let her guard down. Let herself hope, which was almost always a mistake.

"Look, me and Emma should have left months ago and you know it. We've been a burden-"

"No, no you have not. Jac, no one wants you to go. I don't want you to go."

Her breath misted in front of her as she stood on the cold street. She so wanted to go back into the warmth and noise of that house. "I know. And that is why I have to."

Fletch shook his head. "Why? Why can't it be a good thing that-"

"Theo called me mum, Fletch. And...I don't blame him. I should have realised that he's too young to understand that this was temporary. Hurting those kids was the last thing I wanted to do."

At this, Fletch finally rolled his eyes. He almost span in annoyance. "It stopped being temporary about two months ago!" He shouted. 

And it had felt that way. She had been officially the worst patient ever. An even worse outpatient. With no one to moniter her, she had pushed herself way too much, thinking that if she faked it, she'd be halfway to being fully recovered. Then Fletch had asked her to stay with him...She'd been nervous at first. None of the kids knew what to make of 'jacula' coming to stay with them. When she'd seen the pictures of Raf smiling down from the mantlepiece, of their mum, she'd wanted to grab Emma and run. But Ella had taken Emma's hand, shown her the bed they'd already set up in her room. Ella might have been a little older than Emma, but she loved all things pink just like her. They got on almost straight away. They also seemed to love teasing the boys. Jac, for her part, they seemed part scared of, part in awe of. They warmed to her however when she didn't turn them into bats for spilling jam on her mobile (the bat thing had come from Ella and Emma, of course.)

Evie had started straightening her hair just like Jac's, and Jac took to pretending 'That eyeshadow looks totally wrong on me. You might as well have it'. Evie and her had come to a silent kind of companionship. Evie liked having another woman in the house, and Jac had a nice honest quality that the girl liked. Teenage girls were always taught not to speak their minds, but Jac did not ever get that lesson, and so she led be example.

She was acutely aware that these kids only had a dad, and had lost a lot in a small amount of time. It had happened to her too. Her feet always itched staying in one place too long. Those years of foster families not working out. She knew how to spot the exact moment things went bad. But the moment never came, and it started to get easier not to watch for it.

Even her and Fletch...That was even harder, because, because it felt easy. Because he teased her, because he wasn't afraid of her, because he hardly rose to all her bait. Even when she rolled her wheelchair over his foot accidently on purpose. 

Soon, she could walk around again. Then she could dance in the kitchen to staticy radio at 6 am because Fletch insisted he did it all the time. Then she could lift Theo up to reach the top shelf. Then she could take Emma to the park. She recovered. But she and Emma didn't find themselves leaving, and no one asked them to.

Fletch learnt the little things. Her take away order, the way she drank her tea, what volume she wanted the telly on. She'd been staying in the guest room of his chaotic, lovely house, and she was terrified that she didn't want to go anywhere, even when she was totally fine. Even when she and Fletch let their hands touch when they sat near each other on the sofa. Even when everyone at work gossiped about them arriving in the same car when Fletch's broke down.

She'd almost let him kiss her once, on valentines day. Jonny had informed her that he was taking some woman out. A horribly twee sounding Natalie, who taught yoga and pretended she was a Buddhist. So, she and Fletch had ushered the kids off to a harassed looking babysitter and had drunk two bottles of wine. She'd been leaning on the fridge, listening him doing his stupid Jamie Oliver impression as he microwaved something resembling lasagne. And she'd felt peaceful. She felt warm and happy. It might have been the wine, but thing seemed to shimmer in the dim lights of the kitchen. Emma's drawings in amongst the ones from all the other kids. They were mixed into this family. She didn't think she knew how to untangle herself even if she wanted to. Her bullet wound had not bothered her since coming here. Maybe she would never be a real, whole person. But she did feel like she had some kind of place here. 

Fletch saw her smiling at him. He gulped the last of the wine from his glass and sauntered over to her. She let him take the glass from her hand, watching his gaze flick to her lips. He sighed deeply and leant into her. It was slow. It had been coming for a long time. He brushed her hair back from her face gently and she closed her eyes, waiting - 

Until the microwave pinged.

So they'd all muddled on, one big slightly dysfunctional sort of family. But tonight. It had suckerpunched her out of a dream, a dream she'd had when she was small, of having a big house and a big family to fill it, a dream she hadn't had for years - and into reality. Because after much cajoling she'd tucked Ella and Emma in (she no longer felt betrayed when Emma wanted Fletch to sing that bloody spider song) and then Theo. And as she'd flicked the light off, he'd called her mum. Softly, into his batman pillow. But he'd said it. And she knew she'd made a grave mistake.

She'd let them love her, let them get used to her. Kids wanted to believe the best in people. They didn't know yet that that was rarely what we all got. One day they would see right through her, and she would have to go. One day she would let them down. And now it would hurt them all even more, because she had let them think she could be better than she was.

"I can't replace their mother, Fletch."

"They know that! Trust me, they know. I didn't think I could step up either, but I did, and it's the best thing I ever did. This doesn't have to be like this, ok? We can be..."

"What?" She prompted, her voice hard. "A perfect little family? I think I'm a little too evil step mother for that Fletch."

He shook his head. "You know that isn't true. It's been good hasn't it?"

"I've been filling a void! Raf, their mum, Jonny, take your pick, but we've been pretending this is working just to feel better about them not being here."

Jac started to walk away again. 

"That isn't even- You're just trying to push us away like you always do, but it won't work this time."

Keep walking, she told herself. Keep walking.

"You have a chance at something here Jac. Emma loves it here. And the kids love you two. It might have started at missing other people. But it isn't like that anymore. And you know it."

"What I know is that I have to go." Jac called over her shoulder.

Then she heard an even worse sound. The patter of a dozen feet hammering down the road. She turned reluctantly to see Evie, Mikey, Ella and Theo all running to catch up with them. Evie grabbed her brothers and sisters, who all bashed into each other ungracefully. She couldn't help but smile just a little.

"Kids, it's freezing, go on back." Fletch said. They ignored him, obviously.

"We want you to stay." Evie said, clearly having been elected spokesperson. "Don't we, guys?" The others nodded solemnly. "Also Theo's sorry he called you mum even though - what was it?" She leant down to let him whisper to her. Fletch smirked at the floor. "Oh right, yeah - Even though he loves you and you have nice hair and he draws you into all of his pictures-" Evie paused to suck in a breath. "And he misses his real mum, but he likes having you here to be a sort of but not really mum."

Theo nodded with a grin and Evie rolled her eyes. "Basically we need someone like you around the house to tell us what to do and stuff, and like, do our homework. And Emma's way more interesting as a sister than this lot."

Jac laughed. She watched Evie nod meaningfully at her dad before ushering her siblings back to the house.

"I agree. Love it when you tell me what to do." Fletch grinned.

"Shut up."

Fletch grabbed his heart. "There you go again."

He moved to her hesitantly. He grabbed her suitcase and pulled it back from her.

"Love it." He repeated. "Love you. Love your kid." He stared at her. "Stay. Stay with me." He whispered. "I know it started as us taking care of you. But that's what family does all the time, isn't it?"

He put his hands on her cheeks, cupping her face softly. Then he finally shut up and kissed her.

This time she walks back to his house by herself. Well, without aid. She wasn't by herself, her hand was entwined with his. She walks back to his house. The one with their kids in it. The ones with the picture of her sister on the wall. And she doesn't leave.


End file.
